RSS Feed

Tag Archives: lost sibling

The Brother I Never Knew

I never knew that I had a brother, but he had known about me for at least half his life.  We were both born in Dayton, Ohio to the same sperm donor and when I say”sperm donor” I don’t mean our mothers went to a clinic to purchase the same sperm.  I am talking about the man who cheated on my mother repeatedly and spilled his seed every which way.

I was born in 1977 and my brother was born in 1979.  My biological father was only in the picture for brief periods, as my mother often kicked him out of the house.  It was during the summer of 79′ that he returned to introduce her to a visibly pregnant woman.  He said she was his girlfriend.  My mother was unfazed by her growing tummy and had never considered that the baby she was carrying belonged to my father.

She finally up and left Dayton in 1981 to pursue a new life in El Paso, Texas.  I was only four years old and I never shed a tear when we left because this man, that we will just call “Mike“, was never really a dad to me.  I didn’t feel a connection whatsoever.  During my childhood, I felt that something was missing and I knew that somewhere out there I had a sibling.  I felt strongly that it was a brother.

Years have passed and I have grown a bit older.  It was June 2011 and I decided to check my email.  One particular email caught my eye.  “Is your father’s name “Mike”?  If so we are related.”  It was from a man named Shane.  At first I thought it was some kind of joke or a scam artist.  I was not sure what to think, but my heart immediately dropped because I felt that Shane was going to say he was my brother.  I replied to the email and was taken aback when he told me that we had the same father.

Still curious and suspicious at the same time.  I began to ask him of what he knows about his father.  He filled in details that he couldn’t have found simply by making an internet search.  He had private knowledge of our family that I knew that I never wrote anywhere.  I was stunned to say the least.

When he told me that he lived in El Paso, Texas and only lived on the other side of town from me, I nearly collapsed.  I really wanted to meet him, but I was so nervous.  How could we both end up in the same city, miles from our hometown in Ohio?  It could only be an act of God or fate.  I was meant to meet him and his family.  This doesn’t happen everyday, so I spoke with my mom about it.  She too couldn’t believe it and told me to have him send a picture via email.  His face shape and eyes resembled so much of mine and “Mike’s” that I knew that it was true.

It has been a few months since I met him and I must say that it is strange that I am getting to know my little brother.  We have spent a lot of time together.  We went on a trip to White Sands and are planning to be together for Christmas.  He feels like a stranger, but it also feels like someone familiar to me.  Someone that has always been with me, but just couldn’t be with me.  I have contacted our biological father, but he continues to deny his son.  It is not like this 32-year-old man wants child support or anything else.  He just wanted to know the other side of his family and happily I get the honor of doing that for him.

When I asked him how he found me, he told me his mother told him his father’s name and that he had a sister named Sunshine.  If my name wasn’t so unique he probably would never find me.  He made a search for our father on the internet and found his MySpace page.  He saw that on “Mike’s” friend list that he had a friend named Sunshine Mendez.  When he searched for me online he found some of my writings along with my email address.

I hope this blog inspires those who have siblings that they need to find.  I hope that you will end up with the happy ending that I have had.